Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
