My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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