So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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