What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
