Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
