I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
