worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
