i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
