if only i could text you this smell
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
