I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
