The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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