My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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