I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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