After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
