Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
