i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
