is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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