Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
