We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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