Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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