she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
