Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
