How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
