I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
