But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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