i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
