If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
