He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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