I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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