Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
