hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
