i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
