tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
