There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
