I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
