haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
