What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
