Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
