how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
