if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
PANTIES FOUND
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