Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
