That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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