Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i think my cat just said my name.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
