Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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