Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just pee around me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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