Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
