Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
