she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
