it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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