Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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