I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
